My mother has a beautiful hand-painted German Easter egg. These eggs are a delicate and fragile art. An egg is hand painted in an intricate design and then a hole the size of a needle is placed at the tip of the egg for the yolk to drain leaving leave behind a beautifully painted shell. My mother was on a trip to Germany with her University and a German woman and her family hosted the group for dinner. The German woman was an artist of these eggs. My mother tells as she admired the women’s artistry and beautifully decorated eggs the woman chose one and gave it to her. It was a priceless treasure. Every spring my mother places the egg on the mantle in her living room to remember her amazing time on the trip and the woman’s kindness and generosity. Last year, 2019 (nearly 15-20 years after receiving the egg), my then 3-year-old son was playing in the living room and broke my mother’s beloved egg. It was devastating. My son was unaware of the value of the egg, and despite disciplining he didn’t have the maturity or history with the egg to understand the gravity of his actions. I remember staring at the egg in disbelief and horror. My mother walked with grace and forgiveness, but her disappointment and sadness were palpable. I knew what I had to do; I had to fix it. I collected every piece, some no more than a speck. I researched, and devised a plan. I backed every piece with a small piece of tissue paper, and used the tissue paper to create a framework that would be able to strengthen and hold the broken pieces together. Over the course of several days, I tediously pieced the egg back together, piece by piece, speck by speck. How many times did I hear, “Just throw it away” or “You don’t have to do this” or “Don’t worry about it”? But, I knew I had to at least try to restore my mother’s precious egg. Finally, it was done. There were some places the break and repair were less visible while others devastatingly obvious. Yet there laid before us the egg, in its entirety. While some may say the egg was not quite as beautiful, clearly you could still see the artistic handiwork of the German woman who painted it. I took the egg, and I placed it in my mother’s display case, only reserved for those items most precious and fragile.

At a staff meeting devotional, we read 1 Timothy 1:13-17, where Paul was talking about the impact of mercy on his life. In Paul’s writing you can hear the enthusiasm from receiving mercy and then he goes on to verbally express his gratitude and praise to God. I sat in the meeting trying to conjure some excitement and enthusiasm regarding mercy but I had none. It felt like I had a knowledge of God’s mercy but I didn’t have a heart-level connection to it. I realized I really didn’t know the significance of mercy and didn’t have the understanding to recognize its presence in my life. My prayer became, “God teach me about mercy and help me see its presence in my life.” So what did I do? I studied biblical terms, performed cross-references, read blogs, and before you know it, I had collected facts, definitions, scriptural passages, and examples that could produce a stellar essay on mercy. Despite all the research, I still failed to understand mercy’s impact on my life. Again, I prayed for God to teach me about mercy, and God reminded me of the egg.

I have been the victim of people’s bad and immature decisions. I am the broken egg. Growing up in church, I forget that much of what I value morally and ethically is founded on my understanding of Biblical teachings and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I forget that there are people functioning in this world who do not know what the scripture says nor the power of the Holy Spirit. We live in a world where we are given permission to make our own choices, thus we may fall victim to the ungodly nature of others. When I was broken I would cry out to God: Punish them!; Deliver me!; Protect me!; God, why didn’t you do something?; God, how could you let this happen? And feeling like a broken egg laying on the mantle, it is easy to focus inward on the shame, guilt, rage, anger, offense, injustice, and embarrassment of being broken. While maybe justified in those feelings, dwelling on them pushes our gaze inwards and focuses on our sole condition. In that moment of brokenness, for me, I felt a sense of entitlement that I didn’t deserve “this” and I deserve justice. Yet I was broken, as was the egg. Then, What do I deserve?

Romans 9:22-23, “In the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who are destined for destruction. He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory” (NLT).

Is it possible, that in our natural state, apart from the intervention of God, that we are all vessels destined for destruction as mentioned in Romans 9:22-23? When I looked at the broken egg, truly it should have been thrown away. It didn’t matter that the egg was not at fault. The natural consequence of broken things is to be discarded. Maybe, we should have even replaced the broken egg with another, but then that wouldn’t be the egg that held such value. I can see, that even in my brokenness, all that I deserve, is to be discarded and thrown out. Yet, here is the egg and here I am. When I should have been discarded, maybe even replaced, God looked on me with love. He saw me in my brokenness and was moved to save me from the consequence of my brokenness. How valuable I am to him! Like Romans 9:22-23 implies, by his choosing I became a vessel for his mercy to rest. Brokenness didn’t impact his affection or his original purpose for me. Like I toiled to restore the egg, how much more does God do so for us? If we can refrain from an inward focus, we could see God’s mercy, unrelenting love, and patience working on our behalf to cancel the result of our brokenness and make us whole. It is truly undeserved. When back together, we, like the egg, don’t look the same. We may have a few cracks, but we are stronger, and our artistry is still visible and exquisite. Like the egg that was placed in my mother’s display case reserved for precious items, we, through our merciful God, become the vessels from which his glory is displayed. When others see how God so completely restored us, despite deserving nothing, they cannot help but be introduced to God's vast power and glory. I am so thankful that in my brokenness and pain, that God gazed on me with overwhelming love and valued me for his original purpose and not the current state I was in. Who else would place such value on something broken? Who else would repair with long suffering what would be easier to toss out? Who else loves me that much?

Saying all of this, what does mercy mean to me? I am the restored egg. I think it is best summarized, in a personal paraphrasing of 1 Timothy 1:13-17:

God intimately gazing on me with love, was moved by my suffering and cancelled the curse of my condition, despite my doubts, fear, lack of compassion, numbness, disobedience, incorrect perspective, and lack of maturity that I felt I was entitled to in my brokenness. God overwhelmed me with His love, patient and unrelenting, He pieced me together piece by piece until I shifted my perspective from an inward focus to His eyes of love. This undeserved favor floods my heart and overwhelms my soul clearly showing me how he feels about me. I am forever changed by his goodness, mercy, and grace and it leads me to a deeper belief in his character and passion for pursuing his heart. I can testify of God’s goodness, because I have experienced God’s goodness! Jesus’ mercy, displayed on the cross for all, was even available to me! One, who seemed broken beyond repair, who deserved to be discarded. Yet, God saw me differently, seeing me in my original design, and through undeserved favor has repaired me and placed me in a place of honor to put his glory on display. Because of this my gratitude and praise rises to the merciful God, my creator, who is all-powerful, good in every way, immutable, and blameless. He is full of glory and the only God. He is worthy to receive all our praise and affection forever! Amen!

-Heather Braden